


Fire & Fury

by orphan_account



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: And inaccurate math calculations, D&D AU, Gen, Loosely based on Fire and Fury, May contain swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 19:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Gren is a mean DM and Soren's dice belong in Dice Jail.





	Fire & Fury

**Author's Note:**

> SO! First thing's first; happy late birthday Jesse; I can't draw all I can do is write fic so if you read this then I hope you enjoy it and I'm sorry it's heckin late. 
> 
> Also HUGE thank you to my beta Su, who is a lifesaver because she literally DM'd this encounter for me over the phone and we wrote EVERYTHING down so every roll happened naturally. There's a few small issues with breaking rules or miscalculating in here, we know, and we're too tired to fix it rn. Enjoy!

**Fire & Fury** ****   
  


_ Soren was pleased to see his sister had managed to wrangle two horses for them to ride.  _

_ Not literally, like, gone into the woods and just captured two random horses. He didn’t know how she’d obtained the horses, only that she had, and he was grateful. _

_ The idea of Claudia physically wrestling two wild horses instead of just buying them was enough to make him laugh out loud, but when she questioned him about his laughter he didn’t tell her anything. Mostly because it sounded ridiculous, and also because he didn’t particularly want to share the joke.  _

_ ‘So, we’re on a quest to stop our crazy father,’ Soren said, climbing up into the saddle of his horse. ‘Which way do you think we should go?’  _

_ ‘This way,’ Claudia replied, tapping her heels into her mount’s sides.  _

_ “This way” referred to the worn path that led them through an enchanted forest, with the promise of a large town on the other side.  _

_ Soren rarely questioned his sister. She usually knew better than him anyway.  _

_ As they rode through the trees, Claudia snapped her fingers, coaxing crackling magic from the ether. Sparks danced around her hands as she showed off.  _

_ ‘Eh,’ Soren mutters, waving a dismissive hand. _

_ ‘What can  _ ** _you_ ** _ do?’ she asked with a smug smirk. _

_ ‘Hit you with my sword.’  _

_ ‘And?’ _

_ ‘Hopefully I’ll hit you hard enough,’ Soren grinned, and Claudia poked out her tongue.  _

‘I’m going to need you to roll for perception.’

Claudia’s dice bounces on her notepad, landing with a shiny gold ‘17’ facing upwards. 

Gren nods and takes a note. ‘And you, Soren?’

‘14.’

Gren gives him a suspicious look.

Soren grabbed the die he hadn't in fact rolled and tossed it lazily, smiling at Green when a gold 14 rolled to the top.

‘Excellent, you’re both vaguely aware of the feeling that you’re being watched. Claudia, you can hear something in the trees.’

_ Claudia tugged at the reigns and slowed on the path. ‘Can you hear that?’ _

_ ‘No?’ Soren replids. The forest felt quiet; the sunlight broke through the canopy in patches, leaving a mottled pattern on the dirt road. ‘What is it?’ _

_ ‘I’m not sure. Be on your guard though.’  _

‘Now?’

‘Whenever you like!’ Gren grins.

She rolls the dice.

_ Soren’s horse threw its head back and let out a startled snort, and Claudia pulled her reins tight to one side when her mount backed away, turning in a tight circle. _

_ Something dropped from the trees; no, not something -  _ ** _someone_ ** _ .  _

_ Soren immediately drew his sword and dismounted. ‘Who are you and what do you want?’  _

_ The figure stood tall, her violet eyes flashing dangerously. ‘My name is Rayla,’ she said, pulling back her hood. Her hair was pale like a full moon, and she had pointed horns and pointed ears. ‘And these are  _ ** _my_ ** _ woods.’  _

‘Now hang on just a second,’ Soren growls, interrupting Rayla’s monologue. ‘You said it was an all-human campaign! She can’t be an elf!’

Gren scratches his chin and leans back in his chair. ‘She made a very convincing case, so I allowed it.’ 

Soren sputters. ‘But I don’t want to be a human!’

‘Me either,’ Claudia adds. ‘I want to be a Tiefling.’

Callum raises his hand halfway into the air, saying something about how he’s happy to be human but Soren talks over him. 

‘It’s special treatment, and it’s not fair!’ 

Gren gives him a look. ‘Are you playing, or complaining?’

The blonde scowls. ‘Bold of you to assume I can’t do both.’

‘If you’re quite finished,’ Rayla mumbles, picking up her d20. ‘I’d like to get back to my monologue.’ 

_ ‘Where was I?’ the elf asked, scratching her neck. ‘Oh yeah. My name is Rayla, and you’re in my woods. The toll to pass is ten gold pieces each.’  _

_ ‘Do you have any official documentation for your position as the toll-collector for this road?’ Soren asked. He lifted his sword so the tip pointed directly at her.  _

Rayla scribbles on a spare piece of paper and hands it to Soren. 

‘This just says “ _ I can do what I want _ ”, oh my god you suck,’ the blonde laughs, scrunching the paper up and throwing it back across the table at her. 

_ ‘Pay the toll, or I’ll greet you with my pointy friends,’ Rayla said, flicking her swords from side to side.  _

‘How long did it take you to think of that line?’ Soren snorts.

‘How long did it take you to think of my  _ fist  _ in your  _ face _ ?’ Rayla bites back.

_‘Get out of _**_my_**_ way, or I’ll cut you_ _to ribbons,’ Soren retorted, taking a step forward. _

_ The elf was faster than him, sure, but he was strong, and clever, and he had his sister as a convenient backup.  _

‘Before either of you can attack, you notice a dark shadow overhead, roll to see if you recognise the shape,’ Gren instructs, picking up his own dice. 

All of them roll high enough, except for Callum who has organised his backstory with Gren beforehand, and is waiting for the moment he can join the game. 

_ ‘That’s a dragon,’ Soren said, relaxing his posture. He could hear the heavy thudding of steady wingbeats. The beast was low to the trees and even the ancient branches seemed to cower and shake in fear.  _

_ ‘We need to warn the town,’ Claudia added.  _

Gren hands Rayla a yellow sticky note with scribbles on one side. 

_ ‘They have anti-dragon measures, they’ll be fine,’ Rayla told them, not dropping her swords. ‘What can we do about a dragon anyway?’  _

_ ‘We can’t just let it attack them and not do anything about it,’ Soren said with a frown, shoving his sword back in the scabbard and mounting his horse.  _

‘Also, dragons give you loads of experience and not to brag but this character is pretty much invincible,’ he adds.

He can’t see Gren smirking behind the cardboard DM’s screen. 

_ ‘You, rogue,’ Soren said dramatically, pointing his sword at the elf.  _

_ ‘It’s Rayla.’  _

_ ‘Rogue-la. Raygue. Raygue-la.’ He laughed at his joke. ‘Come on, come help us fight a dragon.’  _

_ ‘What’s in it for me?’ Rayla asked suspiciously, putting her blades away.  _

_ ‘Ten gold pieces,’ Claudia piped up. ‘And the thanks of the King we serve.’ _

_ Soren frowned, because they definitely don’t serve a king.  _

‘Are you rolling bluff on that?’

‘Yep,’ Claudia grins. ‘Nineteen. You’re coming with us Rayla.’

_ ‘Okay fine,’ the elf conceded. ‘But I’m getting my ten gold pieces even if I have to kill you for them.’ _

_ Rayla declined an offer to ride with either of them, explaining to Soren that her superior elven abilities made her a lot faster and able to keep up with even the speediest horses.  _

_ As they moved through the trees, Soren could hear the rustling of Rayla jumping from branch to branch in the canopy, and the slow, distant thrum of the dragon’s wings.  _

_ He even got a glimpse of it through the canopy. Rayla confirmed it when she fell to the path without warning, startling the horses.  _

_ ‘It’s a Red Dragon,’ she announced.  _

Gren stops talking as Soren flicks through a book under the table. ‘Are you cheating?’

‘Uh… no?’ Soren says, batting his lashes innocently. 

‘If that’s a monster manual and not a players handbook I’m going to hit you with it.’

Soren closes the monster manual with a snap and a grin.

‘Of course not, what kind of person do you think I am?’

Gren scowls as he rolls his dice and makes a note. 

_ They arrived in the town on the other side of the forest without incident. Rayla bragged that she kept all the fae and other enemies at bay by being super speedy and Claudia smiled and nodded with that familiar expression that Soren recognised as his sister tuning out.  _

_ A middle-aged man in a brown peasants tunic greeted them, the ends of his beard slightly singed. ‘Kind heroes, have you come to save us?’ _

_ Soren dismounted in a smooth motion, jostling his armour and unsheathing his sword.  _

‘Kind heroes?’ Rayla snickers.

‘Leave my random NPC dude alone,’ Gren grins over the DM screen. ‘Just let him tell you where to go and you’ll never have to worry about him again.’

‘What’s his name?’ Callum asks, ready to write it down.

‘What’s his AC?’ Soren grins.

‘His name is Fen and his AC is two million, shut up and follow him.’

_ Fen led them through the streets, and Soren could taste smoke and the hot tingly sensation in the back of his throat that accompanied dragonfire. The creature was absent from the skies, giving the town time to assess damage and evacuate.  _

_ ‘The dragon has burned the western side of the city,’ Fen explained. ‘We used the anti-dragon defences and it hasn’t come back, I think it landed just outside the northern walls.’ _

Gren leans back in his chair. ‘Do you stay to help the villagers evacuate in case the dragon comes back, or do you take some volunteers and go to the northern wall?’

‘I think we should move onto the next town and come back for a barbecue when the place is torched,’ Claudia quips, absentmindedly stacking her dice into a tiny tower. 

‘Yeah I’m not gonna let you do that,’ Gren says, twirling a pen around his fingers.

‘Go find the dragon at the north wall,’ Soren decides for the party. ‘I’m pretty keen to see a downed dragon.’ 

_ Fen led them through the roads, past still-smouldering buildings and panicked people trying to flee. The Northern Wall was intact and void of any people, the whole village fleeing to the south.  _

_ ‘There are fields just past the river,’ Fen explained, stroking his still-smoking beard. ‘If the dragon fell, that’s where you’ll find it.’  _

‘Do I get to join now?’ Callum whispers, and Gren smacks his palm against his forehead. 

‘Crap, yes. I totally forgot, I’m sorry.’ 

_ Standing in the middle of the gate was a person in a red scarf, a comically oversized book in his hands. In fact it was so oversized that it had a strap, so that the boy could wear it like a satchel.  _

_ ‘Callum, you shouldn’t be out here,’ Fen said sternly. ‘Your father, the Lord Harrow, will be very concerned.’  _

_ ‘But I can help!’ the boy called Callum protested. ‘I’ve been practicing and my magic is strong enough.’  _

_ Fen looked the boy up and down, then turned to Claudia. ‘Will you take Lord Callum on your travels and keep him safe? His magic is very strong and he will only flourish out in the world.’  _

_ It couldn’t hurt to take the wizard with them to check on the dragon, Soren mused. But at Fen’s suggestion of taking more guards he held out a hand.  _

_ ‘When sneaking up on a dragon the less of us there are, the better,’ he explained.  _

‘You’re sure you don’t want  _ any  _ help?’ Gren confirms, and Soren nods in reply. 

‘I think Gren’s giving us a hint,’ Callum points out. ‘My character’s family has a heap of guards we can bring to help us out.’ 

‘The only thing Gren is hinting at is that dragons are worth a buttload of XP and he doesn’t want us overleveled for the rest of the campaign,’ Soren replies. 

Gren hides his face behind the screen.

_ “Lord Callum” came with two extra horses, and had to be persuaded to leave a number of books behind. He stuck close to Rayla and the party rode two-by-two like animals to the ark, on their way to slay a dragon.  _

_ The fields outside the town were smouldering, and Soren could feel excitement pooling in his abdomen. He was finally going to kill a dragon, go down in history. He could call himself Soren Dragonslayer. That was a thing he definitely could do if he killed it.  _

_ ‘Look!’ Rayla whispered, pointing with one of her blades. She dismounted and left her horse where it was.  _

_ The crops were bent at an odd angle, as if something - like a pair of wings - had just clipped them on the way down.  _

_ ‘The dragon’s in there?’ Callum asked, also sliding from the back of his mount. ‘And we’re just gonna walk in and get it?’ _

_ ‘Yes!’ Soren pulled his sword out and petted his horse on the nose before taking the first steps into the field. _

Gren leans over the DM screen to set up a number of little figurines on the table. 

‘Roll for initiative,’ he instructs, putting a very crude, ugly dollar-store dragon toy in the middle of their makeshift “battleground”. 

Soren makes a note on his paper of their order; Rayla, then the dragon, then himself, then Callum, and after Claudia’s shocking roll of a measly 3, she’ll be the last one in their lineup. 

_ The dragon wasn’t as big as Soren had been hoping, but it was still an impressive beast. It’s scales were deep red, and it had chains wrapped around its tail, its back legs and one of its wings. The wing joint was bent at an odd angle and looked like it would painful to move. _

_ It definitely wasn’t dead, but judging from its harsh breath and heaving sides, it wasn’t happy.  _

_ Rayla whipped out her two fancy swords and gave them a twirl. _

‘I’m going to sneak around the back of it so I’m out of the way of its teeth,’ Rayla tells the party, moving her minifigure and tipping her forest green dice from their velvet bag. 

‘Okay, call the numbers out so I can keep track of the dragon’s HP, and you can uh, start any time,’ Gren says, moving his screen back so he has more room to roll and make notes. 

‘I get one attack for each weapon, and then my sneak attack,’ Rayla tells him. ‘That’s a four… plus an eight, and then a five.’ 

_ The dragon bared its teeth in a hiss of pain as Rayla got close, then she struck it twice with her swords. The elf attacked one more time with a graceful twist and the dragon roared in pain. She made sure to keep well away from its teeth and claws, also keeping an eye on the tail that could thrash at any moment and knock her over.  _

_ The dragon snarled as it struggled to its feet, fixing a golden-eyed glare on the nearest human it could see.  _

Gren rolls his dice then lifts the screen to show them the numbers. ‘The dragon frees itself from the chains. It’s taken some damage from the landing, but it’s still very dangerous. It spits and hisses at you, and you’re feeling a little intimidated.’

‘No I’m not,’ Soren says without thinking, fishing out the dice he’ll need from their bag.

‘Yes, you are. It might only be little, but it’s still much bigger than you,’ Gren insists. 

‘My turn now?’ Soren grins, holding up a pretty white-marbled d20 with gold numbers. He rolls it on the table and throws two hands in the air as it lands on a natural 20. 

‘You smash it’s armour class,’ Gren tells him, fighting a grin at Soren’s enthusiasm. ‘What’re you gonna do?’

_ Soren’s great sword swung through the air and sliced through the dragon’s scales. The monster swung it’s massive head around with a snarl, and Soren could feel its hot breath on his face. Blood oozed from the wound, and the fighter had to really yank his weapon from the creature’s side in order to attack again.  _

‘25 damage. And I get another attack, because I’m super strong!’ 

The die rolls. 

‘That doesn’t break it’s armour class,’ Gren says, rubbing his chin. ‘So, cocky from your last attack, you swing again but your aim is a little off. Your sword glances off the chains instead of hitting the dragon.’

_ Soren’s sword bounced off the chains that were slowly slipping down the dragon’s leg. He gripped the handle tight and took a deep breath.  _

_ ‘Let’s see what you magic users can do,’ he called, throwing a grin over his shoulder.  _

‘I cast  _ Mage Armour _ ,’ Callum says. ‘I don’t need to roll, I just do it.’

‘Is that all you’re doing?’ Gren confirms, and Callum nods.

‘My AC goes up to 12 now, and I’d very much like to not-die in the first encounter of the campaign.’ 

Gren makes a note. ‘If you’re finished then it’s your turn Claudia.’ 

_ With a wave of his hand and a muttered spell, Callum cast a spell on himself. For a second or two he glowed a bright blue, then the magic ebbed away and left him looking the same as he did before. He took a few tentative steps to one side, leaving space for Claudia to work.  _

_ Even though she was his sister, Soren never got sick of watching Claudia work her magic.  _

_ With a muttered prayer to her god - one of the old ones, Soren could never remember which one though, which was probably not good considering how many times her magic had saved his backside - and summoned a handful of crackling black lightning.  _

‘I cast Witch Bolt,’ she tells the party. ‘Third level spell, does 3d12 of lightning damage.’

Her purple and gold dice dish out a further 20 damage to the dragon. 

_ The bolt of lightning skittered across the dragon’s scales and it howled in agony and fury, twisting its head from side to side. It tucked its wings close to its body as the electricity crackled across its hide, baring its teeth. Even after Claudia had released the spell, the lightning continued to spark when the dragon moved.  _

Gren tells them that they did pretty well for the first round, but the dragon is very,  _ very  _ unhappy. 

‘So only our friend the dragon has taken damage at this point,’ he explains. ‘But it’s free now so let’s see what happens.’

Rayla sits up taller on her knees, already shaking her dice in her hand.

‘Okay so I’m gonna move over here so that me and Soren are flanking the dragon, then just do the same as last time, but with advantage,’ she announced. ‘Attack with both of my swords.’ 

She rolls the d20 across the table, landing on an 11, and then rolls again for a 7.

_ Rayla flicked her swords and aimed once more for the dragon’s hide.  _

_ As the lightning coursed through the dragon’s body it gave an almighty spasm, and the blades of Rayla’s swords sailed through the air and didn’t touch even a single scale.  _

_ ‘Crap,’ the elf hissed, lifting her blades defensively.  _

_ The dragon sucked in a heavy breath and let out a vicious roar.  _

‘And now it’s the dragons turn,’ Gren says almost gleefully. ‘Soren, since you did the most damage it’s gonna go for you, sorry pal.’ 

‘You sound very sorry,’ Soren snickered, picking up his d20. 

_ Uncoiling itself from a defensive position, the dragon’s golden eyes found Soren and it curled its upper lip to show off rows of sharp teeth.  _

_ With a strike faster than Soren even thought possible, the dragon darted forward and snapped its jaws shut on his leg. Piercing teeth sliced through his armour, his skin and his muscles and the fighter let out an almighty howl.  _

‘How much HP do you have left?’ Gren asks, ignoring Soren’s scowl.

‘Thirty one,’ he grumbles. 

‘Oh, really? Crap, okay. I mean, dragon still has two attacks for you so…’

‘Wait, what?’

_ The scaly creature finally released him from its teeth, only for it to swipe at him with its claws. The armour of his breastplate gave in like wet paper, knocking the air from his lungs. The blonde was able to snatch in one desperate breath before the claws pinned him again, raking over the fresh wounds in the opposite direction; an act of revenge for Soren’s attack earlier no doubt.  _

‘What the hell, I’m on  _ four hit points _ , Gren, you can’t  _ kill  _ me on the first encounter,’ Soren moans, running his hands through his hair..

‘I just do what the dice tell me,’ Gren apologises. ‘Do you have any health potions?’

‘Yeah, but that’s not the point,’ Soren mumbles, tapping his pen nervously against his notepad.

_ Soren fumbled in his pack for a potion and stifled a groan when he realised it wasn’t a very strong one. He downed it anyway, feeling a slight tingle of relief course through his system even though it didn’t stop the overall pain or mend the wounds.  _

‘I gain 8hp, for a grand stinkin total of  _ twelve _ ,’ Soren announces. 

Callum and Rayla exchange amused glances.

‘You should have swept it’s leg, Soren,’ Callum says, hiding a laugh behind his hand.

‘I’ll sweep your legs, Callum, if you don’t kill this thing before it kills me.’

‘It’ll be fine,’ Claudia promises, patting her brother’s shoulder. ‘Me and Callum and Rayla will get it before it can get you.’ 

‘I’m going to cast Magic Missile,’ Callum continues. ‘It’s an auto-hit though, don’t need to roll for AC. Does 1d4 of damage per bolt, and I get five bolts, plus an extra one point of damage per bolt.’ 

‘Are you sure it’s five, and not three?’ Gren asks, flicking through his copy of the player’s handbook.

‘I’m casting it as a third level spell, not a first, so it goes up to five,’ Callum explains, reading a note from his character sheet. 

‘Oh okay. Sorry, continue.’ 

_ Callum pulled his hand back like he was miming firing an arrow, a bright white bolt of light taking the place of the arrow. He didn’t need to aim, because the moment he let go of the bolt it sought the dragon automatically, hitting it square in the chest.  _

_ The wizard loosed four more arrows, each time hitting the dragon in vulnerable spots and making it scream in agony.  _

_ As the last magic missile smashed into the dragon, Claudia flicked her wrist and the second part of her Witch Bolt struck the dragon in the back.  _

‘The dragon is very angry now, and it’s hurt and vulnerable. You can see smoke coming from the corners of its mouth, and its eyes are wide and terrifying,’ Gren tells them. ‘Rayla, what’re you doing next?’

Rayla chews her lip. ‘If Soren dies, do I get to be the leader of the party?’

‘No,’ Soren interrupts. 

Gren waves a hand. ‘Angry dragon now, party politics later.’ 

‘I’m gonna do what I do best and uhh stab it with my swords,’ Rayla decides. 

_ While the dragon was distracted with lightning, Rayla flicked her blades into position and attacked. It snarled and hissed, thrashing its head and baring its teeth.  _

_ ‘Did you kill it?’ Soren called, his voice cracking.  _

_ ‘Nope,’ Claudia chimed in, taking up a defensive stance. _

_ More smoke billowed in the corners of the dragons jaw.  _

Gren takes a deep breath. ‘Alright. The dragon is furious. It’s very hurt and it knows that you won’t stop until it’s dead. It digs its claws into the soft ground, and it opens its mouth wide. You know  _ exactly _ what’s coming.’ 

Soren winces.

_ With a snarl, the dragon unleashed a torrent of dragonfire from its maw. Starting white and fading to blue, then yellow and finally orange, the flames destroyed almost everything in their path.  _

‘We’re dead,’ Callum moans, chucking his cloudy dice down on the table. ‘Barbecued.’ 

‘Roasted,’ Rayla adds. 

‘You’re gonna need to roll a Dex saving throw,’ Gren tells them. ‘Except for Rayla who is  _ behind _ the dragon and therefore not in the line of fire.’

Callum rolls first, his cloudy sky-blue dice landing on a seventeen. 

‘Minus one with mods,’ he sighs. 

‘Fail,’ Gren says, then he points his pen at Claudia.

She rolls her d20 and groans. ‘A seven.’ 

‘Ouch, fail. Your turn Soren.’ 

The blonde kisses his dice before rolling it on the table, but at the sight of the number, his heart sinks.

‘Thirteen, plus one for the mod is fourteen.’

The tension at the table is like a taut rubber band waiting to snap. Gren leans over his screen and slowly rests their three minifigures on their sides. 

‘Everyone except Rayla is down, zero hit points left,’ he says, then he looks at Soren. ‘Sorry buddy.’

‘ _ No _ ,’ Soren moans, grabbing a handful of his hair.

‘Dragon dealt  _ 61  _ damage and you… are permadead.’

Soren dramatically takes his character sheet and tears in half, a fake sob or two thrown in for good measure. 

‘Why aren’t we permadead too?’ Callum asks.’ 

‘Because the dragon took over half of Soren’s health in the negative,’ Gren explains. ‘You guys can potentially be saved. He cannot.’ 

‘What am I supposed to do for the rest of the campaign?’ Soren wails. ‘I wanted to  _ play  _ and help Claudia stop our evil father.’

‘You can make a new character and join in after this part?’ Gren offers, handing him a blank character sheet. 

Soren takes it and starts flicking through the player’s handbook he has on the floor in front of him.

‘Meanwhile, Rayla it’s you and the dragon in a 1 v 1 showdown.’ 

_ The dragon swung its head around, mouth smoking and eyes crazed. It was covered in wounds, marks from the lightning and they magic missiles, and had crushed scales from where the chains had initially brought it down.  _

_ Rayla sucked in a deep breath, and readied her weapons. _

‘One d6 for each sword,’ she reads out loud. ‘Plus 3, for each attack… and that’s ten damage…?’ 

Gren looks at her, his face stoic. 

_ The dragon let out a final attempt at a roar before its legs gave way. A shuddering breath escaped its nostrils, and a red lid closed over the glassy, golden eye.  _

_ Rayla let out a breath, and tucked her bloody shortswords back into their holders so that she could check on the rest of her party.  _

‘Congratulations team, you’ve killed the dragon and saved the town,’ Gren says with a grin. ‘But you two are gonna need to do a death saving throw or else you’re joining your ol friend Soren over there.’

‘Ha ha,’ Soren says, poking out his tongue. ‘My new character’s gonna be a badass, just you wait.’ 

Callum survives his death saving throw with ease, while Claudia rolls a crit fail and only gets through by the skin of her teeth (and Rayla’s medicine saving throw). 

Gren closes his book and gets to his feet to stretch. ‘Well I’d planned for that to go better,’ he says, and Claudia chucks a pillow at his head. 

‘You nearly killed us all,’ she says, voice dripping with mock outrage. ‘And you did kill Soren.’ 

‘ _ Soren, _ ’ Gren says, grinning. ‘Didn’t listen to Fen when he said “hey do you wanna maybe take all those guards so they can help you” and decided to hog all the xp himself.’

Soren ignores him, hunched over his character sheet. Every now and again he stops to roll one of his dice. 

Callum clears the snack wrappers off their table and Rayla makes a point of putting her minifigure on top of the knocked over wonky-eyed dollar store dragon, the sole victor. 

‘How’re you doing, Soren?’ Gren asks, sitting back down on the floor next to him. ‘Do you wanna wait for next week?’ 

‘No,’ Soren says vaguely. ‘I’m nearly done.’ 

Three minutes later he slams his character sheet down on the table with a grin. ‘There!’ he says proudly. ‘Good luck killing  _ this guy _ .’ 

‘Name?’ Gren asks.

‘Soren.’

‘How creative. Race?’

‘Startouch Elf.’

Gren leans back slowly, sucking in a breath. ‘You most certainly are not.’

‘Rayla’s the  _ only one  _ who survived that encounter, and since I died properly I should be allowed to pick what I want and clearly elves are not-dying material,’ Soren points out. 

The redhead throws a marshmallow at his head. ‘You can’t be a Startouch Elf for a number of reasons. First, Startouch elves are pretty much non-existent, they’re so rare. Second, I said no bloody elves!’

Soren gestures wildly at Rayla. 

‘Don’t bring me into it,’ she snorts. 

‘You can be a human, and maybe if you didn’t pick a stupid class I’ll let you be a dwarf,’ Gren concedes. ‘What class did you pick?’

A smug smirk curls at Soren’s lips. 

‘A  _ bard _ .’ 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Look I really just wanted Soren to get to be a poet bc I think he'd do a damn good job at it. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and it wasn't too confusing! Remember to come yell with me on tumblr/insta/twitter about TDP!


End file.
